August

Today is the last day of July, which means that tomorrow would be the first day of August...

Time really flies!

One month have zoomed by so fast, and its one more month before school resumes.
I've been on "holiday" for so long that I think I have forgotten how studying actually feels like.

I think July has been an exceptionally fufilling month for me!
Giving tuition, taking up weird jobs, snoozing around at home, SHOPPING....

I never thought that I would enjoy teaching, but I realised that I actually do. The boys are so cute (hmm, maybe its not the right word to use, but the sec2 kid is really really cute!), and I have a newfound penchant for solving mathematical problems.
Giving tuition isn't like a 'job' to me, I actually look forward to tuition lessons every week haha. (Though I secretly wonder whether they also look forward to tuition too)

I've been working so much this holiday that I amaze myself. Although I have been earning a meagre income for myself, my wealth has not seemed to have increased.
I guess I have been spending far too much...

6 tops, 4 bags, 2 shoes

Absoultely appalling!!!


But,
AUGUST

Shall be a month of CHANGE for me.
A revolution.

Firstly, to curb and control my spending.
I know I have always been saying that I want to do this all the time, but do otherwise. I am going to try my best this August...


And more importantly,
I am getting baptized tomorrow!!!

I really like my baptism date. 1st August - the first day of a fresh new month,
A new beginning, a new creation :)


Also, August marks the start of an exciting new journey for me. Something I never thought I would have the capacity and capability to achieve.
I'm excited yet nervous at the same time... :Z

It is my first time, and I am unsure about many things.
Ironic feelings of anticipation and apprehension are overwhelming me. But i'm just putting my trust in God that he will see me through.

Responsibilities, responsibilities - something I would say is not my forte
Thinking about it makes me kinda "jumpy".

But I'm really excited to meet the girls!!!!!!!! ;)

Last for July

Haha something is really wrong with me!!!!

I can't stop buying things!!!!


34.
Bought 3 belts of different colours. My rationale: Cheap lor, just buy, I surely will have some use for it.


ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD,
I found my Longchamp backpack!!!!!!!
So happy :DDDDDDDD

37.

Imma happy girl with all these items!
No more for the month of August. Really

Yeah, REALLY.

Grown up

I've been waking up at 9am EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past week.

No, not because I have to.
But because I just CAN'T seem to sleep past 10am.

And I have been sleeping at 1-3am every night.
That means that I only have 6-8 hours of sleep at night.

This is so unlike me!!!!! Totally not me at all!!!

Wth, what happened to my requirement of >10 hours of sleep every night?!?!?
When I have all the time in the world to achieve that, my body refuses to let me do so.


I have come to this conclusion:
I have grown up.

I have become like my dad, who only needs 6-8 of sleep.
Anymore than that, he would wake up automatically.

Oh, and when I wake up at 9am, I would read The Straits Times.
I used to think that it is boring (besides the life section), something that only people like my dad enjoy.
But now, I love to read it. I read the whole freaking stack.

Should I be happy or what?
I'm starting to adopt the habits of an "adult".
Am I all grown up now?????!!


But ohmannnnnnn, I really miss waking up in the afternoon...

Obsession

29.
30.
31.
32.
33.


I know, it looks bad. Really really bad.
It reflects badly on me, my self control, and especially my bank account.

But..........
I sold some stuff!!! Not much, but at least it negates some of the damage done.

I'm like a STICK!!!!!!!!!

Omg, I never knew my skinniness was THAT BAD.

I am aware of my weight (or rather lack of it). But it has come to my attention that it is wayyyyyyyyy abnormal!!!

I was looking at my photos when I came across one that totally disgusted me.






I LOOK LIKE A FREAKING STICK!!!!!!!!!
WTH, I'M THINNER THAN THE TREE TRUNK BEHIND ME.

Ewwww!!! Gross to the infinite infinity!

If I were to wear some torn, tattered and dirty clothes, and take the picture in india,
I will definitely look like a malnutritioned, malnourished kid.

Those kids, have one meal a day or probably even lesser. But I have 3 or more meals a day!!
Why do I look like one of them??!


Then it made me think:
Am I just skin and bones????

Yucks!!!!!

Its so weird that I suddenly realised the gravity of this situation.
So I look like that in real life?? Omg that is really disgusting.
I look at my reflection everyday, but never felt that my size was really a huge problem.


But now it is.


Although that photo was taken a year ago, I don't think I look bigger than that now.
Compounded with my recent appetitite problems, I would have to think that I am losing weight.

Argh. Eating has become such a chore!
Its no longer "eat to fill my stomach" because my stomach seems to always feel full.
No longer is it "eat because I love to eat" because I don't love to eat anymore.

Now, it is "eat because you need to gain weight" and I have to force myself to finish my food.


Is my current weight (size) my fault because I didn't eat enough,
or is it a biological problem - high metabolism, small bones??!

Argh.
NEED. TO. DO. SOMETHING. ABOUT. IT.

But what? Besides eating, I don't know what else to do...
See a doctor? Hmmmmmmmmmm